The Shenanigans of John Coleman Durham

The 4th Great Grandparents of my grandchilden, Ashley and Kolby, are John Coleman Durham and his wife Rachel Black.  They were married in KY on August 5, 1869.  Rachel was born with a birth defect, a club foot.  We do not know which foot or how badly turned in this foot was.  She was able to walk and to travel, and travel she did - to court to defend herself against her husband's filing for divorce!  Divorce was uncommon in the 1800s and would have led to a great deal of gossip, no doubt.

4th GGrandaddy John was a school teacher who had five living children with his wife Rachel in Kentucky.  His eyes strayed.  They became focused upon his first cousin, Martha Washington Durham, whom he met while teaching in Missouri.  John filed for divorce against Rachel and he alleged that she was unfaithful, but nothing about his own wandering eye for Martha.

Back home in Kentucky, Rachel got notified of the divorce and the court date...in Missouri. To fund her trip to Missouri, she sold her cow for train fare. She also gathered letters attesting to her good conduct from the Mt. Calvary Baptist Church. Having no luggage, she packed her clothes, letters, and necessities, placing them in a flour sack for the trip. From the sale of the cow, she received enough money for the trip to Missouri and the trip back, and it was her intention to bring her straying husband back to Kentucky on that return trip. She was extremely gutsy to say the least. With her limited funds, she did not have the monies needed for a room at an inn or for transportation or even food while in Missouri. John knew she was arriving, but he did not come to the train station to meet her. A minister who happened to be at the station helped Rachel by providing shelter and transportation to the courthouse.

John, who had failed to come to the station, also failed to come to the courthouse! No information is known as to whether John got his divorce, but, guess what? I seriously doubt it.

Rachel showed extreme courage in her trip to Missouri. Traveling alone, hard. Traveling with a club foot, likely hard. Traveling with no funds, hard. John abandoning her completely, hard.

When she returned to Casey County, Kentucky, she did get her cow back though. That is a good thing. The milk cow was either bought by her brother Andrew Black or retrieved in some way by him, and returned to her and the children.

So what happened to 4th GGrandaddy John? If John married Martha, he was a bigamist. If he only lived with her, then he could not marry her until after Rachel died in 1913. Did Martha ever really marry John?  Don't know so far. She is listed on his death certificate as Martha Durham, but when you are first cousins, you often share the same surname. Martha and John had six or more children together. John died in 1926.

A side story: John was the son of Kentucky Jim! 5th Great grandaddy! He married Jane Coleman, whose surname has been popular within the family.


James Durham lived in KY but moved to MO to be with other family members in that state around 1850. By 1852 he was back in KY swearing he would never, ever, live in Missouri again. His family affirmed it when they nicknamed him forevermore as Kentucky Jim!

Front Row LtoR:  KY Jim, his daughter Mary Magdalene Durham with her son,  child Roscoe Durham standing by his mom, Rachel Black Durham,  child Dewitt Raney, father Proctor Raney with Aurora Durham Raney who has her hand placed on her husband's shoulder on the right side of the photo.  Aurora is a daughter of John Coleman and Rachel Black Durham.  

Rear Row LtoR:  Arvina Raney daughter of Sally Jane Durham and Joseph K. Raney, James Durham with his arm on shoulder of his brother John S. Durham (sons of Rachel and John Coleman Durham, in widow's black is Mammy (Sally Jane Durham Raney; daughter of Rachel and John Coleman Durham).  Note:  James Durham Family (KY Jim)" photo courtesy of Regina Baldock's site at Ancestry.com.  Thanks! 

Grandpa Reynold Benedict Freitas

                       

Aunt Leia adored her Grandpa Reynolds (Reynold Benedict Freitas).  She has shared that he was a most memorable man who was dearly loved by his family.

One of the wee stories she tells about her Grandpa is the way he would refer to people as "donkeys." 

For example, if he was driving down the road in Hawaii and encountered a total jerk who tried to cut him off, he would simply say "What a donkey!" And then he would just keep on going with a cool temper and not an ounce of road rage or horn tooting.  Good for you Grandpa Reynolds!

Margie and Annie Mae Bennett & Kolby and Bruce Durham

Can you guess which one is my Mom Marjorie Bennett and which one is my Great Aunt Annie Mae Bennett?

Annie and my grandfather Charlie Bennett, dad of Marjorie, were siblings. 

Annie lived in California and Mom lived in Maine.

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                  This is Kolby.

Check out the eyes and curly hair.

Which one is his great grandfather Bruce Durham?
Or are they both Bruce?

Email me for the answer if you are unsure.

Vannie Cunningham - Her Way of "No"

My great great grandparents were Henry Bright Cunningham (Sr.) and Vannie Harriman Crocker of Belfast Maine.  They married in 1877 and when Vannie was 21, she gave birth to my great grandmother, Alvra "Allie" Cunningham.  So Scottish!

They moved in 1880 to Natick Massachusetts where Henry worked at a shoe factory.  In 1907 Henry died of the dreaded TB.   Vannie moved back to Belfast Maine.

My father was fortunate, as were my sister and I, to personally and lovingly know one of our great grandmothers.  We knew Alvra; Dad knew Vannie.



When my father knew Vannie she was a "Rackcliffe" and involved in the Rackcliffe Funeral Home business in Belfast Maine. She had married Samuel Nichols Rackliffe of Belfast Maine in 1910 in Searsport. He died in 1918 leaving her twice widowed.

My father told me that Vannie used an unusual expression of "Don't do so", which he occasionally heard from her..."Don't do so, Bobby!"

Vannie died sometime after 1940, in her 80s, when she came down with pneumonia and died within three days!

Charlie Cator Runs Away Twice!

My husband's grandfather is Charles Conrad Cator, Jr.  He was known as Charlie, Buck, CCC Jr. and Granddaddy. He was raised during his father's second marriage by a stepmom nobody seems to consider fondly.  Stepmother Lavinia Cator is reputed to having been "mean." An example of punishment was to put her stepson in a bath that was iced and ice cold and make him stay there for a long time. There was a custody battle brought forth by a relative, but it failed to remove Charlie from his father's house and from mean stepmom.  CCC, Jr. was born, we think, in 1895, so in 1914 he was about 18 or 19 years old.   Charlie made the Washington DC Herald newspaper on March 7, 1914 as a runaway who disappeared on March 6th with 5 other teens.  Rosa (16), Lillian (17), and Lena (17) were missing along with 3 boys, Charlie (15!), Walter (19) and Gottlieb (18).  Don't really know where they went and why, nor what happened to them as I couldn't find a follow-up story.  But...it must have something to do with the same day article in the Washington Post.  

Interestingly, this article in the Herald does NOT mention his future wife, Ruth Ridgeway, as a runaway, but the Washington Post articles of the same day and year report on only Charlie at 18 and Ruth at 19.  They were in love.  She was a fun-spirited young woman and Charlie would love her greatly for many years to come. 

Charlie had worked for the train yard and been coupled by two trains, resulting in injuries requiring a year in the hospital.  Physical therapy for his arm, for example, was holding a bucket and adding a piece of coal each day till his arm finally straightened and became strong.  Charles was again working at the Union Station in DC as a call boy in 1914. In railroad slang that means Charlie was the guy who made sure each crew member was scheduled for regular runs and aware of extra runs to be completed.

He arranged for three days of leave to get married.  Sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?  Charlie's huge mistake?  He told his stepmother that he intended to marry Ruth "at once"!  Egads!  Mistake, mistake, mistake.  She told him, "I'll see about that; you're too young to get married!"  Charlie fled the house and called Ruth.  

Mean stepmom stopped Ruth and Charlie from getting a marriage license at Rockville MD. Evidently Lavinia got the word from somebody that they were going to elope to Philadelphia and she called the Philadelphia Police Department.   Then she heard they might elope to Camden NJ, so, what does mean stepmom do?  She telegraphs the clerk of the court in Camden to stop the two runaways!  You get the gist.  Every time she heard of a new possible marriage location, she attempted to stop the wedding saying that he was too young to get married (at 19!) and can't support a wife. She wanted him to wait till he was 21 even though dad, Charles Conrad Cator, Sr. was okay with the marriage. Mean stepmom also alleged that he was not well and she feared for his health. Hummm. 

So, did they get married?  YES! 

After mean stepmom contacted 50 towns to stop them.  Can you imagine her determination?  Don't understand her reasoning since Charlie's dad was okay with it. Lavinia overlooked Frederick MD.

Charlie and Ruth became Mr. and Mrs. Cator in Frederick MD.  

Mean stepmom may have been persistent, but Charlie and Ruth were in love.

They would have three children, one being my husband's Mom, Bernice.  Nice.