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Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Anatomy of an Obituary


Charles Conrad Cator, Jr., also known as Charlie, Buck, and Granddaddy, was a character.  He was a small in stature man who lived a brimming life. When I met him for the first time, I expected to greet a man who would cuss while commanding the room. Interestingly, he was so sweet to me, so kind, and very interested in me, the woman who married the grandson he raised, Patrick.  He was in command of the room, of that there was no doubt. I was delighted by Granddaddy immediately. My husband loved and loves him deeply.  

Did I see the true character of Charlie Cator? 

I have always honored his care for his family, his raising of six daughters and two grandsons.  Since then, I have heard many spirited family narratives about Granddaddy and have a clearer picture of how others saw him.  The stories are fascinating, as was the man who was dearly loved by many despite his being blunt, cantankerous, and bold.

When he passed away, his obituary did not tell of the depth of his character either.  His accomplishments in life were many, but not quite as written.  So, here is my exploration of his obituary's structure or anatomy.  


On January 17, 1987 Granddaddy died.

Charlie Cator had several interesting jobs, but he never retired from any of them.  

His last job, prior to "retirement" was with Pepsi-Cola Bottling Company in Washington, DC.  He was on two weeks of vacation from Pepsi and the day before he was to return to work from his vacation, his wife Florence, Grandmother, had a mild stroke.  Charlie asked for more time off due to this, but Pepsi refused. Charlie quit and moved to Colonial Beach, VA.  

He had worked for Potomac Electric at one point. While there he got hit by 2400 volts twice and 4800 volts once.  One hit actually burned his pants leg off, so he got off that pole!  He got into his truck and went to a bar.  He needed a drink!  The police looked for him and found him in the bar.  He had survived.

Another near miss was when he fell off a light pole at the 14th Street Bridge at night and landed half on the bridge and half off the bridge.  He told everyone that "you can find my fingerprints in the bridge."  He had survived.

So, he did not retire from anywhere, but he could have retired from the railroad.  He was severely hurt when coupled by a train while working as a dispatcher.  After a year in the hospital, they offered him a lifetime job with the railroad but he would "not take handouts."  But, he had survived.  

Thelma Sizemore was his live-in caregiver companion, but not his nurse.  After all, Charlie was cleaning out the gutters in his 90s.  

He and Florence personally raised two grandsons also, Patrick and Tommy Hill.  His daughter that predeceased him was Evelyn Cator.  Four daughters have passed away; not sure about Jerri. 

We love you, Granddaddy!